Tradition!

 

'We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings.'

-Alan Moore as Dr Manhattan, Watchmen #9

That quote comes into my mind frequently. I know it's supercilious of me, but I often feel that way when observing human behaviour.

Bear with me here.

Humans often behave in self-destructive ways. From the small (have I ever talked about the time one of my students brought a habanero into my class and dared the other students to lick it, and rather than telling him to get stuffed, the other students passed it around and took turns licking it?) to the collosal (the recent election is replete with stories of people realising after it was too late the negative consequences of their choices), people are constantly acting in a manner that is counter to their own self-interest. 

This does not surprise me. It frustrates and infuriates me, but it does not surprise me. Humans are not rational beings. We deceive ourselves into thinking we are, but we did not evolve intelligence because it increased our odds of survival. It was our hyper-social tribal nature that allowed us to thrive. However, we needed greater processing ability to comprehend the ever-growing complexity of intra-tribal dynamics. We have millions of years of social evolution hard-wired into our thought process. We do not make decisions reasonably; we make decisions based on the need to preserve the social status quo and our position within it (or possibly to increase our position).

This is where traditions come from. Because of our social thinking, we insist on doing the same things repeatedly no matter how unpleasant they are. When an alternate option is suggested, the same response is invariably given: 'It's tradition!'

If a tradition is harmful, it's OK to change it. You can create new traditions, or even just abandon the tradition altogether!

I'm writing this on Thanksgiving day. Today, millions of Americans will gather with their families for a massive meal of traditional dishes. Yet it is very common—in fact, it is a trope used in many memes—for people to dread spending time with their families. The Daily Show even did a sketch about the phenomenon.

Yet people continue this tradition. Wouldn't it be easier to start a new tradition? Or at least change the tradition so you don't have to endure traumatic interactions with relatives? Author Armistead Maupin wrote in his memoir Logical Family, 'we must join the diaspora, venturing beyond our biological family to find our logical one, the one that actually makes sense for us.' If your biological family is toxic, you are allowed to spend Thanksgiving with your logical family instead.

Thanksgiving is not the only example of this. It doesn't even have to be within the realm of holidays. Any tradition that serves no useful function can (and, in my opinion, should) be changed, at the very least—if not outright discarded.